So our first ‘official’ Club Dirty Bastards trail ride for 2008 has taken place. Things have been a bit slow getting off the ground this year for a number of reasons, racing and enduroland being two of them. I have been out for a few runs already, one on my own, one with Zulu and another with Tony that had to be aborted. I’d stripped out the fender bag on the KTM for the cancelled CHEC race the week before and had forgotten to repack the tyre levers. Tony asked me if I had them as we were gearing up and I had to inform him that they were sitting in my ‘box of bits’ in the garage at home! We’ve not had a puncture for ages so thought it would be ok, but as fate would have it Tony got a puncture. I carried on having a bit of a play while he limped back to the car via the roads. I was not too popular I must admit and the first thing I got back via sms when I suggested this run was “can I book the tyre levers please”.

Our meeting spot..... rob discuses the merits of steam power.......the group (check out the man in yellow)

I’d hatched the idea of a long trail ride when we were on the way home from the trip mentioned above. So an email went out to the Club members and the website mailing list informing them of a mega ‘all day’ trail ride. This was accompanied with a warning that it would be an all day affair so there was to be no whingeing about having to be home by a certain time!
The usual suspects of Tony, Scott-rider, Rotaxrob and Zulu signed up straight away with Skid promising to do his best. Ben, who I’d not met before but had been on the mailing list for a while also hoped to make it. Places were limited but I think the prospect of an all day ride (7.30 am start as well) must have put some off as we had two others drop out in the end. In the end it was a very manageable seven riders that lined up for the ride at my usual meeting spot.

Club DB ready for the off.

Only 30 minutes late we set off up ‘slippery hill’ and it lived up to it’s name by claiming Zulu on the way up – one of several he was to suffer during the event of the day! From there we followed the bog stock route down to Chievely (rat run etc) as I wanted to get as much distance under our belts as soon as possible. It wasn’t long before I managed to get my first ‘action’ shot of the day. Negotiating a muddy puddle just after the pub I swiveled in my seat to snap a few shots off and low and behold Zulu plopped off again ‘on cue’ much like our last rideout.

Zulu with fall No: 2

Skid coming along............Ben trying to get out the rut & got a little caught up as well

We carried on and soon came to the Bomb Hole. Sticking to the middle I cleared it and again stopped to take photos. However the group had taken the Chicken Route i.e. the alternate, easy, big girls blouse route that ran next to the path. I motioned for Scott_rider to ride though so I could take pictures telling him to stick to the middle and he’d be fine. Well he did give it a go but went into the deep rut on the right hand side and promptly got himself stuck. Lots of wheel spinning and pushing ensured, then he gave up for a rest. Feeling a little guilty (not much, I had my photo!) I jumped on and freed it from the trap.

Scott_rider fell for it .... but used the wrong approach

When in doubt - flat out!

Zulu's pic of Scott in the drink ....... the group ..........me & Scott

From there it was a blast along a tar section until the lanes around Lambourn. I’d planned in a slightly alternate route to our usual lanes after leaving Lambourn, so for most of the guys the lanes were new which is always nice.
Following the GPS track we zig zagged across the countryside until we were eventually forced into an unscheduled fuel stop by Rob’s PBH steam engine. Rob’s ‘going onto reserve’ antics forced me to reprogram the GPS to find a fuel station, the closest one turned out to be in Marlbough. With 65 miles on the clock we filled up and headed off once again until we hit one of the best (but way too short) lanes leading up to Barbury Castle. If you know this lane you’ll know what I mean as it has some fantastic humps in it that you can get some nice air off! We got to the other end and I turned around for another go as it was so much fun. Well apart from the guys shooting in our direction that is! There were a couple of guys shooting clay pigeons in the bottom of the valley and some of the guys were none to impressed that the guns were pointed our way.
It was filled baps of some sort or another all round at the café and I went for the sausage bacon and egg option as I was feeling a bit peckish having missed breakfast due to the early start (up at 5.30).

Skid trying to start the big XR650 in a rut ...not easy

Rob before his exit.......Zulu upright (for a change)......Ben

From there we headed ever Westwards on lanes that I’d ridden in the past but never taken the other guys on. Rob took a tumble while negotiating a rutted lane and badly bent his left thumb and he was having trouble using it. After a few miles we crossed a tar road and Rob recognized where he was so he called it a day and limp home trying not to use his hand. Apparently it took 45 minutes for him to get out of his ridding gear as he’s a lefty. At time of writing he is still unable to use it, get well soon mate.

Shortly after Rob left us we started down a rather wet lane. Although there was a chicken route on the side I elected to take the proper path and headed off with thick clay mud flying in all directions. I wasn’t very wet but the going was very hard as the bike slipped into the right hand rut and I was unable to get it onto the middle island. I kept it going with the engine screaming and I paddled my way forward. The banks were about three foot high so there was no chance of getting out. I saw some guys ahead and realised it was another group. I paused for a second as the next section looked bad and was far too cautious with the gas so I ended up getting stuck right in front of the other guys. I pulled and heaved, wiggled the bike side to side and still it was stuck fast. I tried lifting the rear out but the clay held it fast. By this time I was getting pretty knackered, some of the new group tried to pull on the bars but it was Ben who help me out by getting stuck in and pulled on the forks while I pushed. I was then that I recognised them as forum members and I’d spent a day with them on a rideout organised by Tattydrz – who I then saw standing in the group. I’d not recognised him with this helmet on but the other two lads are hard to miss due to their size alone. Bob was one of them I think and he was one of them that rescued me.
Zulu was next in line and he wasn’t keen to tackle the same bit but I assured him that if he took it with gusto and nailed the throttle the 525 would get through.

Sure enough he sailed through.

All this time I could hear another bike being revved to death further back up the lane, walking back I found Tony stuck as well. I took photos as more and more guys got stuck in trying to get the bike out until I felt I should help a bit so Skid and I grabbled the front end and lifted it into the bank and then the other guys got the back end up. A good workout all round but it wasn’t finished yet!

How many does it take to get a Honda out a puddle?

Vid of Ben helping me out the first mud puddle - photobucket is cutting sound off for some reason

I asked Zulu if he was keen to carry on in the middle, he agreed that ‘it’s why we are here’ so we ploughed on through the mud until I spotted a massive puddle (lake) up ahead. Again I needed help to get the bike out of the sunken lane and opted to use a rut up on the bank which turned out to be a mistake as this one was also a mud fest. I jumped off the bike and pushed for all I was worth and slowly the bike inched forward with the engine doing a jumbo jet impression. With ten feet left to go it got stuck, and no amount of pulling, pushing and wiggling would move it. Once again the guys came to my rescue and we lifted it out. By this time I was absolutely knackered and covered in clay mud.

Don't just stand there guys - I need help!

Me stuck (again).....doing a dance to the mud god.......Zulu's bike

My bike after i'd cleaned it off with grass!!......one we didn't try - eeek!

Ben, Tony & Scott_rider a little later in the day

We carried on following the GPS until the end of the pre-planned track, then headed off down to Devises where we filled up again, another 45 miles on the clock. From here we used the tar roads to take us onto Salisbury plain and although I had a track on the GPS to follow I decided to just follow Skid as this is his neck of the woods and he knows the best routes.
A few high speed runs and several wheelies later we hit a great track that had some nice humps to jump off and puddles that you needed to swerve around. At this stage we were near Stonehenge so we decided that it was time to start heading back.
We exited the plain near the end of the Ridgeway so we used that to take us up to Barbury Castle again, filling up once again at the petrol station nearby. Another 45 miles on the clocks. A quick sausage roll and coffee and we were off once more.

Jumping back on the open section of the Ridgeway it was very tempting to use it all the way back but I resisted the temptation. The boggy bit at the end of Sugar Hill (just before the M4) caught out a few guys who forgot to get out of the ruts but they all made it though with some heavy throttle action. Ben completely 'filled in' Zulu with roost though!

Zulu and the 525 made it through again - a great photo for a old 2mp camera!

After that it was another quick run though the gates on the other side of the M4 over the Gallops and the lanes by Lambourn as we retraced our steps form the morning. We stopped for a quick breather near the Bomb hole and I looked across at Zulu. His helmet was covered in thick mud, "you not been off again" I asked? Well yes he did tip off in a unbalanced minor spill but when he went to pick up the bike he lost his footing and planted face first into the mud! I'm not sure but i think that was spill number five?

We got back to the cars a little later than I intended (8pm) but that made it a full 12hr trail ride, almost 200 miles on the clock. Judging by the emails i've received everyone enjoyed the day. I'm now in the early stages of planning an even bigger/longer one!

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One week later:

Just been informed that Rob's thumb is broken! He's got to see a specialist next week. Hope it all works out sooner rather than later mate. Get well soon.

And here's another of me stuck curtacy of the other group (xbakerbob)

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